Tag Archives: adult kids

Anniversary of the Worst Day Ever

3 years ago today, about this time, I received the phone call that changed our lives forever.

3 years, yet right now, I am fighting tears.  Why does the date make a difference?

He’s here.  I was just talking to him.  I should not be feeling so sad!

So what if the doctors told us “We’ll know in a year how full his recovery is.  What he has in a year is it.”  They were Wrong!!!  He’s shown improvement in areas well past the first year.  He is still improving!!!  He’s now on the treadmill daily, 6 months ago, a treadmill was out of the question!

My emotions are so all over the place right now, I don’t even know what to write.  I need to just get busy and get my mind occupied.

Grumpiness is getting contagious around here!

Exciting news for me – I got several new props and a back light this week!  I’m actually excited to do an indoor session, and usually, I like outdoor sessions so much better.  And, I had sessions all weekend, now busy editing this week.

Other than that,  it’s one of those days that I’m ready to throw in the towel.  My house is a wreck, laundry is piled high, Munchkin is constantly making huge messes, I need to hem a dress, family room needs rearranged to fit in the treadmill, and the oldest is having one of his very disagreeable, grumpy, won’t say what’s wrong weeks. And believe me, he’s grumpy. And making life difficult.

Yesterday, I fixed sandwiches for lunch, had his started, and he said he didn’t want it. So, I ate a sandwich made with stuff I didn’t want.  He couldn’t decide what he wanted, offered a sandwich a few more times, among other things  I was going to a studio to buy props with my sister, and I told him I’d pick up something for him.  Then he griped because I put up the sandwich stuff before he got one.  Reminded him he didn’t want a sandwich, and I’d pick whatever he wanted up.  He didn’t know what, so I told him I’d call before we headed home.

We’re ready to head home, I call, he still doesn’t know what he wants, and gripes again that I put the sandwich stuff away.  I reminded him he said he didn’t want a sandwich, I ended up eating one that wasn’t made the way I wanted, and if he wanted a sandwich, it only takes a couple minutes to get stuff back out and make one, all he has to do is tell his younger brother. He doesn’t want a sandwich. He doesn’t want anything in the town I’m in, so I tell him I’m going through the town we live close to, and I’ll pick him up a piece of pizza if he wants. He asks if I can get him a chicken salad sandwich. Sure!  No problem!!  He actually sounded happy for the first time all day!!!!

We get one mile out of town and I got a text. “I don’t want chicken salad now.”

UUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today has pretty much been the same way.  He refuses to get on the treadmill or do anything I ask. He just mopes around, being grumpy, and not wanting anything that is cooked, he wants something else.

And right now, Munchkin is being whiny and clingy.  Wants to watch her princess movie, but won’t go watch it, claiming her brother shut it off. I can hear it playing in the other room.

I really think I’m just going to fix myself a margarita.

Just let me know, Son!!!!!

My oldest son had a lot of problems with his catheter while he was in the hospitals.  Once, it was left in for weeks longer than it should have been – this happened after changing hospitals, I don’t feel there was enough communication?  It would also become blocked. We ended up at the ER more than once. The worst ER visit was utterly ridiculous!  Several hours in the bright, busy, hallway with him on his gurney, fighting his father and I horribly!  He kept trying to take his trache out.  On one of my many trips to the nurse’s desk for help, I was informed that we were his parents, we should be able to handle him.  Excuse me?!  We were in no way medically trained, and had no training whatsoever on traches, or how to “handle” a TBI patient who was in pain! I did remind this man, who was supposed to be a nurse, that my son had a TBI, and they had him in a brightly lit, busy area, and that he needed to be in a quiet, darkened room!!  We were also going on several HOURS that his catheter had been completely blocked!!!!    Let’s not forget, I was also about 8 months pregnant at this time. I have also been told that his bladder ended up getting perforated.  Yes. I am still very bitter about that visit.  It ended up being over 8 hours before they finally got a dr in that was able to finally get him some relief. That is one hospital that our family will NOT go to unless there is absolutely no other alternative!!!!

I really believe that all those problems are causes behind his current problems of bed wetting, and not always making it to the bathroom in time.  I believe that, and understand that.  But, I do have to ask, Why can’t he just TELL me when he’s had an accident instead of just leaving the room and leaving the mess for me to find?????? Especially when I just had to clean up a spill from his 2 year old sister, doing laundry, making his bed, and all I wanted to do was cut out a princess dress for Munchkin.

Where to begin?

Yes. It’s been busy, crazy, hectic.  The usual, actually.  I just haven’t taken time to write.

Let’s see, I was sick for about 3 weeks with a bladder infection.  Sick enough that I really didn’t do much of anything but what was absolutely necessary.

Munchkin and Middle son’s girlfriend were in a benefit pageant last weekend. (on a side note, I have got to come up with a nickname for her, “middle son’s girlfriend” is just getting too long to write all the time, and just sounds weird!)  The girls in the pageant collecting over 10,000 books for OK Literacy Coalition!!  Unnamed girl won Grand Supreme!!!  Munchkin won “Once upon a time Wear” and Beauty Supreme!!  I have to admit, I am shocked and amazed at the “Special event wear” win.  There is only 1 award for the entire natural pageant.  I have TRIED very hard at a couple other of these benefit pageants to win that one, worked very hard on special theme outfit, blinged them up, had special music mix made, worked with her Perfection Studios coach on her routine.  This time, I have to admit, I was more concerned with that poor girl I haven’t got a nickname for yet, trying to help her with her outfit and everything,  and just got out Munchkin’s “little red riding hood” outfit that she has worn before.  Tried it on her the night before we left, added a little fabric to the bottom of the shirt so it’d stay tucked in a couple hours before we left, and called it good.

So, the pageant started Friday night.  I planned on leaving around 1.  I didn’t get headed that way until after 3.  The oldest was supposed to go with me.  He was being difficult all day long, kept going back and forth on whether he was going or not. He actually had a chance that morning to go to OKC with his girlfriend, but he argued with her until she absolutely had to leave. I had several errands I had to run in town before I left, so after lunch, I told him if he was going, get his clothes and stuff together while I got the errands done, and I’d be back as soon as I was finished, would put his stuff in the suitcase, and we’d leave.  I started getting text messages and phone calls from him, asking what was taking so long, why did I leave him, what was taking so long, etc etc.  I got back, and he had nothing together, was just mad at me, saying I had left him.  I told him again, that he was supposed to get the clothes he wanted while I was getting that stuff done, it would save time if he had done that while I did the other.  I ended up telling him that I was already 2 hours late, I did not have time to argue or beg and plead with him to go with me, Yes, I wanted him to go, but, it was up to him, and if he wanted to go, we needed to grab his clothes and leave.  He griped at me some more about just leaving him when I went to town, and said he wasn’t going.  I asked him a couple more times while I got the car loaded, and he still just grumped around, so I really did leave him!  Honestly, I had been somewhat worrying about how I was going to push his chair, take care of his bathroom needs, etc and also chase Munchkin and get her ready for her events, plus help unnamed girl get ready for her events, without the oldest’s girlfriend there or either of his brothers to help.  Not to mention, he gets irritated when we have to leave him while we’re in the dressing room at pageants. I was also still not feeling the greatest with that dang infection.

Friday night, both girls did great!

Saturday morning, I woke up completely covered from the neck down with hives. Horribly covered! Itched like Crazy!!!!!! The Once Upon a Time wear was the last event for the girls.  Munchkin was on stage, ready to start, and the sound system went out.  We sat on the side of the stage for about 1/2 an hour while they worked on it.  She was extremely rambunctious, I was tired, itchy, and achy, and I just about said the heck with it, and almost pulled her from it.  After both girls did that, we went back to the oldest’s girlfriend’s house (need a nickname for her, too!!!)  had lunch, napped, and went back for Crowning.

Anna and Elsa were there and did the crowning.  Munchkin was absolutely in AWE!  Just kept staring and staring, and would occasionally say, “Mama!  It’s Elsa!!!!  Mama!  It’s Anna!!!!!  Elsa’s on stage!!!! Anna’s on stage!!!!”  She was so thrilled, I was glad we went.

When we got home Saturday night, and Unnamed Girl excitedly told the youngest and the Love of My Life all about everything, showed off everything they had won.  Later on, the Love of my Life told me that he thought pageants were very good for her, he loved seeing her so excited and happy, he doesn’t usually see and hear her that animated about things.

So much Fun!!

The concert was a blast!   My nephews, middle son, and myself decided ahead of time that we were NOT going to let the oldest back out on us, he might be mad at us on the ride, but once we got him there, he’d have FUN. 

Thankfully, by Saturday night, he had calmed down, decided on his own that he really did want to go, and there wasn’t any problems.

It was youngest son’s very first concert, and it was a great one!  Friends of ours from our hometown were also there, we met up with them and ended up staying in a group.  They have a daughter the same age as my youngest, and they’re friends, so it made an even better time for my boy, he wasn’t stuck with just us “old folks.” 

Middle son and his girlfriend, her brother, and their friend managed to be up at the front, so we didn’t see them again until it was almost over, if they moved, they would have lost their spot! 

Oldest even stood up for part of the time, someone would stand on either side of him for support.  It was so good to see all my boys having FUN!!!!!

I am thoroughly exhausted today. We didn’t get home until about 2:30.  I did sleep in a little, but, I think I should have just really slept, instead of getting up and trying to get things done this morning.  I probably would be feeling better if I did.

 

An overwhelming day

This morning has been overload!!!! 

Oldest is being difficult, has decided he doesn’t want to go to the concert (expected)  he’s being grumpy, and has even broken up with his girlfriend. (happens often when he’s in this mood!  She’s a saint for putting up with it!)

14 yo has been a fight to get out of bed, and stay awake to do his school work and chores.  He keeps falling asleep while reading, then arguing with me, telling me he wasn’t sleeping.  I’m sorry, I just stood there watching you for several minutes with your eyes closed, and no page turning going on, you even jumped when I said something!!

Munchkin has been peeing all over the house!  She’s done so good staying dry all week, but this morning, she’s gone through 4 pair of panties in 2 hours.

I have tons of editing to finish, like always.  At some point, I really need to get some groceries in this house, laundry is piled sky high, and I have mentioned I’m sick this week?  Kidney infection, my back and hips are killing me!!!

But, you know what? You suck it up, buttercup!  Some things just have to be done, whether you “feel” like it or not. It’s called responsibility, and being an adult.  Remember, there are always things to be thankful for, and if you look, you can always find reasons to laugh, or at least smile!  Life is what YOU make of it, even on the bad days!  You have the choice to sit back on your pity pot, or shake it all off and move on!  I am choosing to put a smile on my face, thank God that we have all these clothes, even if they do need to be washed, at least I have a washer and dryer!  Yes, my boys that are home today have horrible attitudes, but, they are home, alive and well!!  And, their bad moods will pass.  And, sooner or later, things will “click” with the munchkin, and she will use the bathroom all the time, and the time potty training is no time at all when compared to an entire lifetime. 🙂

Concerts!

My boys and I have always loved going to concerts.  Last week, the oldest came in and started talking about an upcoming concerts he really wanted to go to, Dad really does not want to go, so I messaged a couple of his cousins, and worked it out for him to go. Middle son also wants to go with his girlfriend.  Youngest son started begging, he hasn’t been to a concert.  Dad said he’d keep Munchkin, and I could go, so now youngest can also go.  Oldest was very excited.

Now, here we are, 2 days before the concert, one of my nephew’s and his wife have gotten everyone’s tickets, and the oldest says he doesn’t want to go.

And, I am really not surprised by this.  I actually pretty much expected it.  It’s practically normal these days for him to want to do something, then change his mind several times.  I am expecting a difficult time getting him into the vehicle on Sunday.  But, I’m counting on my nephews to make it happen.  They’re pretty good at convincing him to get back with the plan, and, if nothing else, they’re big enough to threaten to just load him up in the car!  Like I said, it’s gotten pretty routine – want to go, change mind several times, fight to actually go, then have a great time when he gets to our destination, and ask why we don’t go out and do more often.

This also is not his first concert since his wreck, he’s been to a few others with his girlfriend and his brother.  It’s My first concert since his wreck/munchkin’s birth, I’m pretty excited about getting out with my boys, nephews, and their wives/girlfriends. My friend has been laughing at me, but, oh well, thanks to my teenage boys, I actually like Seether!  I wish my husband would go, but we can’t convince him.   

Woo Hoo!

The oldest has been at his girlfriend’s house since Monday.  Last night, she posted a video on my fb of him actually walking on a treadmill!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I almost cried!  This was the first time I have seen him taking full strides with both feet instead of his normal take a step, then catch up with the other foot!! My husband and I are now looking for a treadmill for him so he’ll have one at both places.

What a baby sister does to grown brothers.

 I was asked to tell someone this today.  Here is my longer version.

First thing it did was cause the then 16yo and 19yo to lay all blame squarely on dear old Dad. “This is ALL YOUR FAULT!!”  (said in a demonic voice)  “Geez, Dad!  You’re worse than my dog!!” The then 11 yo was just plain excited from the start.

Then, we found out “It’s A Girl!”  and that caused them all to start thinking and arguing over girl names, and pointing out cute frilly outfits.

During this time, the 19yo had a birthday, then his wreck.

Baby sister was then incentive to get out of the hospitals and back home before she was born. It was also talking to therapists about all the things he wanted to teach her. 

After she was born, she turned those tough boys into big softies.  They all held and snuggled her as much as they could, and did crazy things just to get her to smile and laugh.

Now, she’s 2. The Ruler of the Roost.  She has turned them and their girlfriends into her minions, willing to do almost anything she demands. They will hold and rock baby dolls. They will pretend to take a stuffed puppy for a walk. They will sit still while she “fixes” their hair because “It’s a Mess!” They still do all kinds of crazy things to get her to laugh and smile. They will watch Mickey Mouse clubhouse nearly all day long, even if she’s not watching the tv, because they know that if she so much as glances, and it’s not Mickey, she Will YELL!

One thing they will not do is change diapers.

 

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Friday Catch up

It has been a busy week.  Started school with youngest son.  9th grade!  Wow, where has time gone??????  Nope, it hasn’t gone exactly smoothly, it’s been very difficult to keep him on task, his mind is completely on dirt bikes.

He sold his Yamaha on Monday.  Tuesday, I had to take a water sample to DEQ, and from there, we went to Tuttle to look at a KTM.  Surprise, surprise, he bought it. The rest of the week has been “Can I ride? Can I go out and do such and such to my bike??”

I have a solution to the nightly medicine fight!  We simply switched to taking the anti-depressants in the morning, and there’s been no problem so far. Such a simple solution, but yet, it has taken weeks to think of it.

And, now, I’ve got to get back to editing photos for two proof books. 

I want a date night or weekend away with my husband.  Even though we’re both at home, I feel like we haven’t had time together in a very long time.