Monthly Archives: July 2014

Of, course.

My oldest son rarely leaves the house. It usually takes quite a bit of coaxing to get him to go. I was very proud of him yesterday, he went with me twice! Once to run errands, and again to go to his aunt’s house. Today, I just had to run in to get a tag for his younger brother’s car. Didn’t even think of asking him, who wants to go to tag agency?? Now he’s mad at me because I left without him.

I do have to say, last week, he went and ran errands with me one day, even got out of the car. We both decided that he should do that more, gets out of house, plus good therapy. But, he had refused to go most days since then.

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Car and Work

EEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  I LOVE MY CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  It’s almost freeing having my own car again.  It really hasn’t bothered me, driving my son’s pick up for the past couple of years.  I had planned on doing it longer, but, there is an ease in my mind now, kind of hard to explain.  My son admitted feeling guilty, thinking it was all his fault I didn’t have a car. I truly hope those feelings are now gone.

Today, I have GOT to make myself sit at the computer and edit!!!  Every time I tried to yesterday, it would start thundering.  Then, last night, I should have just stayed home and work, but instead, I went and visited my sister.  That doesn’t happen very often.

Today will get better!

The Munchkin decided to get up very early this morning.  Much earlier than she ever gets up!! (Unless we’re going to a pageant!)  Daddy had just gotten up, and she decided she needed Daddy, so out of bed we go. At 6:30.

We get out to the kitchen, coffee wasn’t even started yet!!  So, I went to make coffee. And stuck to the floor.  I think it was jelly completely covering the kitchen floor.  So, I grab closest cleaner, and start spraying and scrubbing so I can get to the coffee pot.  Yes. Coffee was really all that was on my mind! Daddy came out of the bathroom, and he wasn’t happy.  It turns out the oldest had stayed up all night. Again.  Dad found him just a little while ago, sitting on the wood floor, in front of his wheelchair, beside his bed, in a pool of pee. The oldest showed up while I was scrubbing.  I asked him what was all over the floor, and he doesn’t remember.  It’s all over his leg, too.  I could tell it was jelly.  I am just somewhat amazed that he doesn’t remember what it is, or how it got all over.

I don’t know why he occasionally he will decide to stay up all night.  It throws him completely out of whack when he does, and takes several days or weeks to get him back into a regular sleep routine. Why can he not see that he functions much better when he gets enough sleep??????

 

On a much brighter note – I am getting a car today!  Pontiac G6 GT to be exact!  Spur of the moment, we haven’t even been car shopping, in fact, I’ve been telling The Love of My Life that I was fine driving the oldest’s pick up for another year or so, that I really didn’t want a car payment.  But, one of his co-workers is selling his,  My Love asked me repeatedly, I got too tempted, and my banker didn’t help when he told me what payments would be, and that we should do it!

Before the wreck, when we were discussing and starting to look for a bigger everyday vehicle for me, not too seriously looking, I LOVED my s10, and really wasn’t looking forward to changing, but, a car seat wouldn’t fit in it.  I did want a G6, but The Love of My Life didn’t.  We also hadn’t decided whether to trade in the s10, or keep it and let him play with it and turn it into a hot rod.  The oldest was driving my s10 when he fall asleep at the wheel. He still doesn’t want a G6, but, he keeps telling me it doesn’t matter, because I’m the one driving it, not him, and it’s what I wanted when we were somewhat car shopping. It does have a couple of things wrong with it, but, nothing major, and My Love can fix it. So, in about an hour or so, I get to go to the bank and sign papers for another monthly payment. Yay?????

 

Overwhelming feelings

I just got off the phone with the man who saved my son’s life. I can’t even begin to explain how I am feeling right now.
Thanks to God and Facebook, we’ve gotten back in touch. He and his wife came to see him while we were at his second hospital. They gave me ask contact info for them, but I managed to lose the piece of paper.
A couple weeks ago, I made a post on Facebook that was shared several times. He said he was at a restaurant, and the waitress told him she saw his picture, so she showed him my post.
My son doesn’t remember his time at the hospitals, so doesn’t remember meeting him. I can’t wait!

Feelings of Guilt

A couple Friday nights ago, both the older boys were off with their girlfriends.  Dad and youngest boy were riding their dirt bikes, I was out in the sand box with Munchkin.  They stopped, were starting to get hungry, Munchkin and I went in and quickly fixed supper, and the thought struck me.  IF the oldest would have been getting the rest he needed instead of staying out with his friends way too late every night, he wouldn’t have fallen asleep on his way to work, and had the wreck that changed all of our lives.  Second son is also out of school, with a fairly good paying job.  Both of those boys *could* be living in their own houses, and this would be what it would be like all the time – quick, easy, much cheaper meals, less dishes, less laundry, not having to wash bedding every morning – so much easier!

As fast as the thought came to my mind, I was overcome by guilt for even thinking that.  I LOVE my boys – I LOVE all my kids!  I don’t really want them to move out, but.. occasionally, thoughts do cross my mind that they are adults….

I don’t know.

I keep feeling in my heart like I should start posting more about the day to day issues/trials/whatever you want to call it of being mom/care taker of an adult son with a TBI, while also having 2 teenage sons and a 2 year old daughter. Not to mention an adult step daughter who’s gone off the deep end into drug addiction.
But, I resist. I don’t know how to word things without it coming across as
whiny or ‘poor pitiful me.’ I don’t want people to feel sorry for us. There isn’t any reason for that. It’s Life. Things happen, sometimes good, sometimes bad. There is Always something to give thanks for, and moments of laughter, even during the bad. Even during the worst times you can imagine.
I just keep feeling like I should, maybe it would help someone going through similar? Maybe it would help me?

1 week on Limu

I have to report that my eczema is already showing major signs of improvement! It’s not completely cleared up, but it hasn’t been itchy in a few days, and is looking so much better, well on it’s way to clearing up.
No real changes in migraines this week, it has been a stressful week.
My husband said he can’t really give a report on his everyday aches and pains, too soon to tell, plus, he tried to combine gymnastics with dirt bike riding last weekend, so he’s dealing with some out of the ordinary soreness.

Stupid dogs!

I take baby girl outside to play. She’s busy emptying her pool, one toy teapot at a time, while I’m relaxing and maybe I’ll even get a tan this year. All of a sudden, all of our big dogs start making concerned ‘what is this?’barks from the side yard. We’re talking about a German shorthair pointer, and 3 pointer/lab mixes. Not small dogs!
I reluctantly get up to investigate. They are all circled around something, noses down, hesitantly stepping forward than jumping backwards. All of them. All I could think of was ‘SNAKE!’ I am deathly afraid of snakes! First instinct was grab baby girl and just stay in the house, but yet, I couldn’t see anything.
So, I start hesitantly stepping forward, ready to jump back -like the dogs, but I wasn’t barking, I was just ready to Scream and run. And I don’t run.
The dogs keep taking turns, snapping into the center of their circle and jumping back, while I cautiously inched forward, thinking of the story my friend told me just this morning about a rattlesnake in her yard, striking at her German shepherd.
I finally got close enough to see what was causing all the commotion, relaxed and instantly started laughing and calling them all idiots.
The source of all the commotion was an innocent piece of plastic, probably knocked unnoticed out of my son’s work truck.

image

Limu diary

I am experiencing the visual problems I get before a migraine, squiggly lit up lines. Not unusual for me, there are weeks that this happens daily. This is the first time this week. Only writing about it because I want to try to keep am accurate record of my limu experience, and migraines is one of the things I’m hoping will reduce frequency.